Confused and lost

And so another of all these days without my Hunny passes. Love you!

Today we went down to the ferry and travelled by statue of liberty. According to me it wasn't much to see, but i guess it's cool to have been there.

We walked up to little Italy and had some lunch and went on to Chinatown. Shopping shopping down Broadway. We found some clothes but i ended up with only one tee.

After that we got stuck in the subway. And that was a bit frightening. Buuut at last we got home after some shopping.at the supermarket. Dinner and then I made a fantastic movie for my babe. Right hun? ;)

Have a good day!

En annorlunda affär

Var in på en konstig elektronik affär idag. Judar överallt. De håller upp dörren, parkerar bilar o kryllar (å då menar jag verkligen kryllar) av dem inne i affären...! Bland det sjukare jag varit med om! Helt förbluffad. Sånna där korkskruvade polisonger hade de med.

Annars ha vi mest vandrat runt o tittat på hus och gått vilse. Imorgon blir det något annat.

Måste köpa en iPad till baby innan jag åker hem dock! Nu måste jag sova, djuriskt trött efter 6h sömn.

Ta hand om er,
Peace

The day

I'm sitting at my friends apartment not far away from the capital of Sweden. Tomorrow is the day I'm supposed to go to NYC and to the rest of America, but I'm not excited at all. Mostly just tired.

I wanna go home...

...that's what my heart says.

Stay.

...is what my umm... I forgot the word I'm looking for... Gah. Fuck it.

I wish my bf was here with me. Everything is so much easier, better, more fun with him. He just makes living wonderful! I've felt tired and "dead" since I left him at the busstation. Love you hun!!

I hope something happens so I have to go home sooner than later. Doesn't matter how or why. Just home.

Peace!

FML

The title says it all.

fml.

How badly I wish there was a time mashine now! Why is it so easy to fuck everything up?? For a lil, lil time I got excited and full of life again. And then BAAM!!

It's like the universe laughs at you, saying "who the fuck do u think u are?"

school decisions. Families healths failing. My darling boys heart.

I know life isn't easy, but this is just bullshit. I wanna wake up from this nightmare...

It's in the heart

I've been visiting my lovely boyfriend Christoffer this weekend, that's why I haven't been writing anything. O how I love him!! Sometimes I wonder if he understands it, because I can be pretty crappy at showing my true feelings to people. And I can't understand why it is so hard to show them to him, we've been together for like 4½ years and when I'm with him everything is wonderful. There isn't a better place to be than in my lovers arms. Maybe that's the problem, I don't wanna ruin the beautiful moments we have just because I can be very, how to say... stupid? At times I wonder how he can pull it off, still love me at times when I don't...

I figured out one thing though. I find it much easier to put down my feelings on paper than to speak them out loud. Guess everything has to do with the environment you grow up in. Sometimes, before I leave Christoffer in the mornings to go to the job or home to my parents, I leave a note for him to read when he wakes up. I hope he appreciate it, because in the morning I am closest to my true feelings. During the day I often build these walls up to protect my inner self. And that is BAD. Stupidity! Better work on that. Open up and realize that the world isn't a dangerous place. I admire people how can talk to anyone about anything.

Anyway..! On Friday evening/night were we at Johan's houseparty. Totally crazy and fun. Some made homemade tattoo's. I was like "WTF??!? are you guy's serious??" They were, haha! So on saturday we (me, Christoffer, Joakim & Lina) decided to chill with homemade Pizza and watch Bob Ross which leaves us to today. Today we have painted with oil on canvas for the first time ever. Full of inspiration from Bob Ross lectures. It's so hard!! But we managed it and made beautiful landscapes. Lina worked on a giraffe canvas she made a time ago and gave it a background. Everyone is so talented! I wonder how this will end, we will be the new Rafael, da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Donatello! Haha! We will soon make another canvas, I hope we can do it this Easter, that would make it a really, really good holiday!!

Better go to bed, work in the morning.

Peace

Livets alla vägar är oändliga

Försöker frenetiskt komma på vad jag ska söka för skolor/utbildning till hösten. Det är så svårt!! Flygingenjör? Receptarie? Tandhygienist? Eller Landskapsingenjör? Kanske Kiropraktor? Eller ska jag vara lantbrevbärare resten av livet? Haha, nää det hoppas jag inte. Nog för att jag gillar mitt jobb, men jag hoppas jag får prova på något annat med!

Lönen idag var nice, den behövs! Och fick skattepapper från Norge så ska försöka mig på att deklarera på norska. Som om det inte är svårt nog på svenska redan..? Som det verkar just nu i alla fall så få jag tillbaka så pass att det kan bli en ny stor TV till mig och babe! Vore awesome!

Here we go again. The feeling that kills my stomach, tear my soul apart. I hate it.
People tell you to live your life and everything will be ok. Do what you're dreaming of.

And still, this pain. Sleepless nights.

It's my birthday today. It was good I suppose. I hope the weekend turn out to be better then I think it will. Live(!) and you will see.

I guess I'm not the most clever girl on earth,
so this blog isn't what I want it to be. Yet! I'll get there somehow. And I can't decide if I will be writing in English or Swedish, so I guess my mood of the day will decide it. Besides, I'm pretty bad at English.

Got some liquorice with the mail today from my friend Sofia as a birthday gift, Thanks! Gonna enjoy it a little later when I will watch Once Upon a Time with my cat Jazz here on the right.

så var det dags

Har inte tid att skriva här just nu, måste dra på träning, utan vill bara kolla hur det ser ut just nu. Får fixa mera sedan.

Peace